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What a wonderful Saturday!

The hubby got up with the kids and let me sleep in. In between Ms. Thang coming in and out of my room asking when I was going to get up, I slept great!

Today, was mother daughter day with me and Ms. Thang. It started out being that I was going to take her to the movies but then it became an entire afternoon.

First we headed to Lifeway store since they were having a sale! I picked up the book The Shack . I have been wanting to read it for a while. I had to chuckle though, because the lady who rang me up kept asking and making sure I understood that the book was FICTION and not factual theology. I assured her I understood that. When I got home I realized there was a notice she had stuck in the book. It was a discernment guide.

I also picked up the Vicki Courtney book, 5 Conversations you must have with your daughter.

Picked up the Travis Cottrell Ring the Bells, Christmas CD. OH MY WORD! It is as fabulous as everyone has said. We listened to it all afternoon in between stops.

My favorite thing I shopped for today was an ornament for my Siesta Buddy. I can't wait to add some goodies to it and send it to her.

After shopping in Lifeway we headed to the mall so Ms. Thang could get her hair cut. She had something very specific in mind and she took her Polly Pocket doll so the lady could get it "just right". The hair turned out super cute and she LOVED it.

Dinner was good cheap Mexican food. I had the chicken enchilada's with sour cream sauce. With a side of Mexican rice, spicy black beans and half a fly. Needless to say I got a second plate brought out. Ms. Thang does not share my love of Mexican food. She really stepped out of her comfort zone though and had a cheese quesadilla, Mexican rice, and refried beans. No fly.

Our afternoon ended at Target, where we grabbed a drink from Starbucks and a pillow for Little Man. He is moving out of his crib tomorrow and into his big boy toddler bed. I am excited and sad all at the same time about how much he is growing up.

We came home and picked up the guys and headed to the drive-in. They were showing Madagascar 2. Great movie. Too funny. It was for sure.... Crack-a-lackin'.

Tomorrow, we are cleaning up the house and getting it ready for the holidays. Doesn't sound nearly as fun as today was.

Love, Cara

Happy, Happy, Happy

My little man has been slow to talk. He started speech therapy in June and since then has just blossomed into a talking machine. He has REALLY been jabbering the past few weeks.

It started when we returned from our Ohio trip. While there he picked up a FABULOUS word from one of his sweet little cousins (I sincerely mean that!!! She is the cutest freaking thing EVER!!!)

He would run around the house yelling... Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! It was actually cute. He wasn't telling anyone No, he just liking saying the word.

Since then though he has been practicing so many words.

No. Mine. Noooo. MIIIIIIINE. Ball. Go. Juice. Milk. Emy. Step, step, step (all the way down our stairs and then JUMP! Baby. Bye-Bye. Shoe. Up. Yuck-o. Pee-pee. No. Mine. Nooooo. Miiiiiine. Dog. Kitty. Frog. Fish. Duck. Bus. Car. Boat. Chug-Chug Train.

Yesterday, though he found a new favorite word that he says ALL. DAY. LONG.

Happy.

He just walks around the house playing with his toys, jumping, running, spinning, and skipping, singing....

HAPPY!HAPPY!HAPPY!HAPPY!HAPPY!

I.LOVE.IT.

7weeks 5 days

Due June 16, 2009.

I had my first OB appt today. Saw the little bean on the ultrasound machine. All looked good.

I am still in shock over all of it though. I am happy and feel immensley blessed but at the same time... We are going to be outnumbered by kids!

That terrifies me!

October 17, 2008. A Friday.

Oma passed away today. She was an amazing woman. She has to be the strongest woman I have ever met.

She loved her family. They were everything to her. She was everything to them.

I met her for the first time a little over 8 years ago when The Hubby had taken me home to meet his family. We were already married and announced that we were expecting our first child.
For the record we got married first.

I will never forget that meeting. The home-made sausage. The bona soup. The potatoes. The sweet cookies they kept feeding us. The all-freaking-day sickness and hormones brought on by pregnancy.

During our conversation she asked me where my family came from. I had no clue what she meant. So I answered with what any other person would have said... We were Southern?.?. from Alabama, Georgia, and Florida. They laughed and laughed.

They came here from Germany. With two little boys and 7 months pregnant with their third child.

They knew no English. Their only family was Oma's Mother and Sister.

They knew that America was a place to provide opportunity for their family. You had to want it though. You had to seek it out. You had to work for it. Nothing is handed to you.

When they were children, after WWII, Russia went into their countries and put them and so many thousands of others into Concentration Camps. Oma survived with her Mother and her sister. She lost brothers and sisters and a father and aunts and uncles. If you ever went to Oma's home, even today, a calendar hangs with every one of those family members birthdays written in the calendar squares.

We lost more than a grandmother today. We lost a woman who gave strength to her family. A woman who taught three sons the meaning of hard work, determination, and the meaning of family. Those sons passed the lessons onto their children.

I have the incredible honor of being married to one of those grandchildren. Daily, I see him teach our children the importance of kindness, of loving one another. The importance of your family.

Daily I see her in him. She has left an amazing legacy.

I look at my two beautiful children and I can't help but to see Oma and Opa in them. To look into little Emily's and Thomas' eyes and see their history. And I see their future.

Oma taught me how worthwhile it is to know where you come from so that you know how amazing it is to be where you are.

She is going to be dearly missed. I know these last months she has been in agonizing pain. These last days her body just couldn't work hard enough to beat her heart. She had lived a long, hard life and God finally called her home and took away her pain. She is with her Jesus. She is with that family she remembered every year after year.

Father God, in the days ahead as the family gathers, be with us. As we celebrate the life of Oma, be with us. As we mourn our loss, be with us. Give us comfort and peace that only you can provide.

Amen.

Thanks Felix!

This past weekend I went to Lifeway with money to spend. My mom was kind enough to give me some shopping money for my birthday present.

Normally, I would have spent it much sooner but in all my matureness (is that a word?) I was waiting to see what the hubby and the kids were getting me.

So after receiving my gift from them, I went shopping in search of a new bible. Not really one to replace my old bible because I am still using it but I wanted something different.

Specifically, I wanted my same exact current bible but not in hard back. You know, "DIFFERENT".

Ummmm there are A LOT of different bibles. Even different ones of my same Bible. I was overwhelmed.

I had to walk away from the shelves and shelves of boxes of Bibles. I decided to think about it and head to the back and check out the clearance shelves in an effort to calm my mind and think through all my options. Options that cost more than the money I had available to me.

While looking through the clearance shelf, there it was! My same but different bible in the price range that my birthday money paid for.

You are probably asking the same question I did.... why is this on the clearance shelf? Missing pages? A page upside down?

No. And No.

Let me tell you. It was there because of Felix. I do not know Felix but apparently after having his named printed on the Bible he no longer needed it.

So thanks Felix. Also, thanks Mom for still sending Birthday Money!

Love, Cara

Hot Now!!!

This afternoon we had to go to Sam's Club. I love going to Sam's Club. There is just something exciting about buying in large quantity. Never mind that had you gone to the regular store you never would have bought 400 rolls of paper towels. The point is that at Sam's you can buy 400 rolls and get a great deal on them, so you do.

After checking every aisle, just in case I see something I must have but never knew I needed ,we paid and left. I was pleasantly surprised with my total. Hopefully the hubby won't be too upset that our grocery fund has been spent. We have tons of Cheerios's to eat at every meal but I still need milk and eggs.

As we were pulling out of the parking lot I saw a sight, I had never noticed before.

It was the Red Neon Sign saying, "Hot NOW". I made a command decision and I turned around and went through the Krispy Kreme donut drive-thru and ordered a dozen HOT NOW glazed donuts.

Once I had them in the car Miss Thang asked if she could have one. I explained that we have co-op in the morning and the donuts were for breakfast.

Co-op starts WAAAAAAAAY too early for this non-morning person Mommy to really plan for breakfast.

Miss Thang didn't say anything for several moments then said words that have never been more true.

"What is that point of buying HOT NOW donuts if we can't eat them until the morning? They are HOT NOW not Hot in the morning."

We each might have eaten one or two on the way home.

Now I am off to figure out what to pack for our lunches for co-op tomorrow. You would think that as a parent I would have out grown the pressure of having a "cool lunch for school" but no. I have not. I felt so ridiculous last week with our PB&J sandwiches. I just wanted to stand up and shout but it isn't real peanut butter- it's soy butter. That makes me cool. Right?

Packing the perfect cool lunch is too much pressure on this Mommy. Too.Much.Pressure.


Love, Cara

Two Years!

This post was meant for Friday September 5th.

My little man turned two years old on Friday. After all the celebration it still boggles my mind how in the world two years has passed us by since he was born.

I thought about how to do this post. I couldn't possible make a list of only two things that I want to say about my little guy (who is quickly becoming my BIG BOY). So instead I will just say all the things on my mind.


You absolutely amaze me every day. You are full of life and energy. You are just sweet and loving. You are everything I imagined a little boy to be like. You are always seeing how high you can jump and climb. You adore your older sister. You love to read books with Daddy and me. You love love love music.

We have really struggled with your speech delays. You have come so far since we started speech therapy this past June. Hearing you sweet voice is just precious. You can now say Momma, Dadda, Milk, Juice, Me, Emmy, Off, Down, Doggy, Peese(please), More, Ball, One...Two...EEEE, Eat.

You love to figure out how things work. You keep me on my toes everyday. You have successfully mastered all of the child proof locks throughout the house. This is something you were incredibly proud of yourself for!!

You have a sensitive soul. Your feelings are easily hurt.

You are currently into TRAINS. You generally have a train or a car you pretend is a train in your hand to push around the house. You say, "KUG, KUG, KUG!" Which is your version of chug, chug, chug.

Although I absolutely miss the baby days with you, I am loving this age. Seeing how much you are learning thrills me. I treasure this time and look forward to the years to come. No doubt they will go just as fast as the past two years.

For your birthday party your Nana and Papa Jay came to visit. They took you to Toys R Us to pick out your birthday present. When we went past all of the train tables you screamed until we let you out of the buggy. You played and played and played with those trains the whole two hours we were in the store. Needless to say their gift to you was a train table and a train set. After shopping we took you to Chuck E Cheese - where a kid can be a kid. You quickly understood the purpose of tokens. It was a bit overwhelming for you though. We had pizza, played some more games and headed home for presents and cake.

You ate every last crumb of cake off your plate and licked your plate to get the last of the ice cream off! From sister you got a Mr. Potato head pirate. From Mom and Dad you got play dough, puzzles, colors, books, and drawing paper. After you went to bed Daddy and Papa Jay put together your train table and train set. The next morning you JUMPED off the stairs to get to the train set as soon as you saw it.

Little Man, you are an awesome little guy! I am blessed beyond measure that God chose me to be your Mommy.

Roll Tide Roll

Football season has begun!

I LOVE this time of year. I love the cool weather. Football on the weekends.

Snacky foods for "lunch" while watching the games.

I look forward to the holiday season. Wearing jeans and soft, comfy sweaters. Well not so much the sweaters now that we are in South Florida where our seasons fall into one of two categories - REALLY FLIPPING HOT and Not quite so HOT. However, I have been known to crank up the A/C just for the chance at wearing my sweaters or sweatshirts.

We are starting school on Monday. I am really looking forward to it this year. We start our Classical Conversations Co-op on Friday. Miss Thang is beside herself with excitement. One of the biggest hurdles we faced with going from public school to homeschooling this past school year was how much she missed the social aspect of school. I think that with the co-op we have sufficiently addressed her concerns.

My biggest concern for this year though would be my Little Man "the TWO YEAR OLD". First, I CAN NOT believe he is going to be two. The thought of him being TWO blows my mind.

I feel prepared going into the school year though. His birthday presents are my preparation supplies. Playdough, Mr. Potato Head and accessories, crayons, Crayola New Beginning products (these things rock), a smock to wear over his clothes, drawing paper, books, puzzles, blocks, one of those wooden boxes that you push the shapes into. All of these things will be kept in a box and ONLY come out during school time.

I prayerfully hope that this all goes as I have planned and doesn't end up as one of those things in life that NEVER works like we have planned. At the very least I have a feeling that this year of homeschooling is going to give me plenty of blogging moments.

On a final note. Little Man received an early birthday present from us tonight. A potty seat. He didn't know about the early birthday present part but he is very excited to have his very own seat in the downstairs bathroom. He has yet to actually go potty in it BUT when he does oh it will be a joyous day because we did not just buy any potty seat - OH NO - we decided on the one that plays a little song when "our little one makes a contribution". Oh yes we did :)

Now on a REAL final note.... Alabama is currently STOMPING some Clemson backside! Oh yes they are!

Love, Cara

Wrong Number, Right Person

So I took a job several weeks ago. The job was truly an answer to prayers. I needed a job that could be done at home in the evening after the kids go to bed. Something that would allow tons of flexibilty with DH's inconsistent sschedule. Something that gives me the chance to be home with the kids and to homeschool.

When we were still stationed in Texas, I had gotten information for a teleservices company. The employees take calls right in their home. The training is done online and all of the work is done online. It was not something that was right for me at the time. When the need for me to get a job came about, I found the information again and re-applied for the job. Eveything went right through and I started work last week.

About half way through the training process I realized that the job was not exactly what I *THOUGHT* the job would be. I thught I would be taking calls for a specific shopping channel.

Yeah, Not so much.

I moved past my surprise, finished with the training and started work. It truly is the easiest job. The people calling have no way of knowing who I am. I do not know them. I take their order, tell them to have a nice night and move on.

There are some I.N.T.E.R.E.S.T.I.N.G peoples in this world. FOuR REAL!!! What people are willing to buy, blow my mind. The questions people have crack me up! Some parents are just cruel in what they choose to name their children. Some people have NO imagination when it comes to prank calls. I mean, if you are going to take the time to prank call me. Make it GOOD!


A couple days into taking calls though, I received a call for a product I was NOT okay with taking an order for. After fumbling my way through the order, the customer ultimately hung up.

Fine with me.

Then I received another call for the same product. This time I hung up on the customer.

I received a few more calls and after fumbling my way through, I ultimately had to hang up on the customers.

Today, I was talking to the hubby and said, I know the job is something we need right now for some extra income. I just need to come up with a way to handle the calls. I will not process those orders, I will not sell the item. I just need to figure out a way to handle the calls. The calls only make up a very very small percentage of all my calls.

So tonight I logged in and started taking calls. Before taking the first call, I bowed my head and said, Lord please let those calls not come to me. If they do, please give me the words to say.

The phone rang.

I heard a ladies voice. She said, "I need urgent prayer". Not sure I heard her right, I repeated my information and asked her for her zip code. She said, that she was calling because the guy on TV said to call this # for prayer. I looked at the number on my screen it said she called, and it was not the number she had tried to call.

It was definately a wrong number.

I know I should have immediately been all cool about it and just prayed. I was really unsure what to do though. I thougt, Okay God this isn't what I had in mind but it is obviously what YOU had in mind. So, I let her know that I had to tell her the call may be recorded. I asked her for her first name.

Then I asked what might be the DUMBEST question I have ever asked. E.V.E.R. and yes, I have asked some pretty stupid questions in my time.

Her name was Patty. I said," Patty, You do want me to pray to God, right?"

I guess I was just thinking I want to make sure that on top of everything else she isn't expecting me to say a prayer to Buddah or Allah or something.

She said, oh yes, Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and I am just in need of some urgent prayer.

I prayed for her need.

I have never been comfortable praying out loud in front of others. This was BEYOND BEYOND BEYOND out of my comfort zone.

Lord, thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you that you are truly in EVERY detail of our lives. Lord thank you for letting those calls pass by me. Thank you for providing a job for me that fit the needs of my family. Lord, I lift that caller up to you tonight. Her and her husband. Lord, you know the details of their needs. Lord, touch their hearts. Lord, thank you for blessing me tonight through praying for one of your children. Amen.

Love, Cara

Alone but not lonely…

So this weekend is/was the Siesta Fiesta. The Hubby and I were fully planning on going. However, because of bad choices on my part, we did not get to go to San Antonio. It was a huge disappointment for both of us. To be honest, he had no clue about the Siesta Fiesta part of the weekend, but he was willing to spend a weekend with me and to attend a Beth Moore event.

As this weekend approached, I found myself crying over everything! I realized that, even as an adult, disappointment HURTS. Consequences are not fun. In the midst, of my pouting, God was quick to remind me of all I did not lose. He reminded that by letting go I am able to keep hold of the things that are most precious in life.

The hubby still took his leave from work and was off this week and will be off for the next two weeks. Today we had made plans to go and see his Aunt and Uncle who live just an hour from us. When I woke this morning though, I just felt like I needed a day alone. I told hubby the one thing I knew would work….

Honey, I have cramps.
Why don’t the kids and you just go.
I packed all their swimming supplies and the diaper bag. They were off.

Silence.

I then did what any other person would have done. I considered reading a book and taking a nap. I considered reading random blogs. I flipped through channels on the TV. I finally settled on playing the Wii.

Super Mario Party to be exact. I won.

I showered and dressed and did the one thing, I had no intentions of doing today. I cleaned house.

As I was cleaning, I found myself needing to talk out loud to God. I realized that as I was cleaning - it was incredibly symbolic of my life currently. Reminded me of all I learned from the Kelly Minter, No Other Gods bible study. My “house” has been in need of some cleaning. Deep cleaning. A spring cleaning, so to speak. The kind of cleaning where you go room to room and throw out all the unnecessary extra’s. You scrub the floors, wipe down the baseboards, scrape the crayon markings off the walls. You even clean out the microwave. It isn’t the type of cleaning that is done in a day though. It takes time. It takes endurance. There are days where you just find it hard, you want to stop, place items in neat piles - call it good and go on. It is worth the fight though. The promises of Christ are worth the fight. He helps us to clean house. As we empty out all that keeps us from Christ- he fills the empty spaces.

Today I spent the day alone. I was anything but lonely though. I even managed to feel a bit bonded to my fellow Siestas tonight as I ate my Lean Cuisine Mexican dish for dinner.

The family just walked in the door. I can’t wait to share my clean house with them!

*edited to add* The little man has been home less than five minutes and all toys have been pulled back out! YES!!!

Love, Cara

Saturated Saturday

It is raining....

It has been raining for what seems like FOREVER. Our yard is a big mud pit. Our pool is not swimmable from all the rain water.

I never understood the idea of constant rain making people sad. I so get it now. The constant rain is just depressing. There is so much rain, it just has no where to go. The ground is too wet to soak anymore up. There was flooding a few weeks ago.

Just when you think the rain situation can't get worse.....enter Tropical Storm Fay.

Yep, so far they keep showing it heading right up the west coast of Florida, with the eye sitting on top of us Tuesday night.

I have lived in Florida off and on all my life and have grown very accustomed to hurricanes, I still do not like them.

There are two that stand out in my mind. One is Hurricane Opal, that did devastating damage to the Florida panhandle. More than ten years later, it still is not the same. It just never will be. The other storm, actually bordered between tropical storm and category one hurricane. The problem was it moved so S. L. O. W. that it stopped once it got on land. Flooding was just awful. For that storm my parents house became "bunker central". After about day 5, I couldn't take it anymore. A person can only play so many card games with the fam. SERIOUSLY! I went home to my water damaged apartment and turned on fans to start drying out the carpets. My bedroom was spared and that was good enough for me.

If Fay sees fit to head this way, I hope she arrives very weak and, yet, fast moving.

Love, Cara

Time to go home...

We are packed up and ready to head back home. I have really enjoyed this week though with friends and family.

I was debating staying a few extra days so that I could see my Mom and stretch out vacation just a little longer.

The debate was over though after me, MissThing and Papa Jay had a talk tonight about going home in the morning.

The talk went like this....

Me: We need to get in the bed so we can get up in the morning and head home.

MissThing: I don't want to go home tomorrow. I want to stay with Nanna and Pappa Jay.

Papa Jay: Your daddy sure is missing you and really wants to see you.

MissThing: We have a webcam.

We are headed home in the morning. It is time for vacation without Daddy to be over.

Love,
Cara

Cheeeeese!

I can not believe it is already August.

This summer went entirely too fast. It is crazy to think another school year is upon us. I am starting to prepare. Gathering curriculum and planning our weekly schedule.

We are going to be doing two co-op's this year. I am excited to have this opportunity! Miss Thang is also looking forward to being back in a type of classroom setting.

In an effort to enjoy the last days of summer though, the kids and I packed a bag and headed to my parents for a week. We were just here right after the 4th of July, but it was a really short trip and we didn't have time for the annual portrait session at Sears.

I am not really sure when it became a tradition.

When Miss Thang was born she was the first grandchild. We have LOTS of photo's. I am pretty sure every family member has her life documented moment by moment and every moment is framed!

Seven and a half years later, there are four kids. Miss Thang (7 1/2), my two neices (6 1/2 and 5 1/2) and Little man (almost 2).

Oh they were such joy today! That studio obviously had no clue what had descended upon them when instead of giving us a seasoned photographer - we had the lady in training.

It was NOT good.

We knew it was going downhill when she started off by asking us what poses we wanted. Ummm I am not a photographer and have no clue how to pose four kids. So she started flipping through a training manual for ideas!

About 20 minutes into it, the kids were doing great! There was enough cheeeeeese in that room to start a dairy club. When suddenly she left us! She went to go finish with the customers that she had been working with before she started our photos.

OH. MY. WORD. We were left for about 25 minutes to entertain 4 kids and keep them happy and clean and pretty.

We did what any parent would do. They had a pose off. I do not remember the last time I laughed so hard. Little Man held his own! He can pose with the best of him and he can WORK those hips and pout those lips.

When our photographer finally came back the kids were done. Well, the girls weren't. They were ready to put on their butterfly wings and boa's and take the fun picture we always let them take as the last photo. Little Man however WAS done! He would lay down if we tried to get him to stand. He would stand up and scream when we tried to get him to lay down.

Somehow we did manage to put some pictures together and I think all grandparents will be happy.

After all that hard work Mom and I decided to shop! I think we woke up and took a stupid pill this morning because ,I mean seriously, who in their right mind would have shopped the mall with the same four kids who just spent nearly two hours in the portrait studio of Sears. We were obviously not in our right minds. Maybe shopping is a left brain activity?

Love,
Cara

It's been a while

Since the hubby came home it has been one crazy rollercoaster ride. I have had what seems like a million different things to blog about but just couldn't bring myself to blog about light funny things when nothing going on in my life has been light or funny.

The Lord has his hands all in this though and things are being worked through and worked out.

I think God is just the coolest and how he reveals himself to me just blows my mind constantly!

Monday morning the door bell rang and it was a lady who had stopped by about a year ago. We have all had these knocks on our doors!! I don't remember anything specific about when she came by before but when she came by Monday morning, the scripture she shared made me just LAUGH.OUT.LOUD. not because it was funny but because it was an answer to all that I had poured out to God the night before.

God reveals himself in so many ways. Yes he literally knocks on our doors!

Psalm 55: 22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

Photo Op

This is the poster MissThang designed for her Daddy!


These following pictures are of the Little Man that I found on my camera when I took the poster pictures off of it. He had been sad and crying but when he finished there was one tear that just rested on to his lashes and would not fall.




Just now as I posted these pictures I had a thought. Aren't we sometimes all like this tear. The crying is over. The moment has passed. Perhaps apologies have been made. We say we have moved on but really we hold onto one tiny part of it. One tiny tear.


Love,
Cara

No maid? Really? Darn!

He. His. Coming. Home.

I am beside myself with excitement. I have SO MUCH TO DO! Not much time to do it all.

1. Find lawn service - DONE!
2. Find maid service - None in area - BOOHOO!
3. LAUNDRY- may finish sometime after the next deployment.
4. Buy Food - will do tomorrow.

Lord, give me strength to stay busy and occupy my mind over the next days. Please be with my husband and those traveling with him, that they each make it home to their family and friends safely. Lord be with those that replaced them. Be with their families as you have been with us during our time apart. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness.


Love,
Cara

What if this... What if that...

The past few days I have had a lot on my mind. I have debated whether to blog about the thoughts or just keep them to myself. I realized though, when I put my thoughts somewhere out of my mind I generally stop obsessing over them. I suppose it does help also that I really don't know who, if anyone, is even reading these posts.

There is a false sense of security in that thought.

The other reason I decided to go ahead and put these thoughts out there is because if you were to call me or talk to me in person for more than five minutes I would probably unload it all onto you anyways. You would probably start backing away and be gone before I realized it but I just need to TALK about it.

The hubby will be home soon. I am excited. I am elated. I am anxious. I am nervous. I am worried. I also have a MAJOR to do list. 1. Call lawn service. 2. Call Merry Maids. 3. Buy Food.

Before he left, our marriage was rocky at best. During this time apart though, God has done many works on us individually and on us as a couple. So why worry? Why can't I just trust and be excited.

I do not doubt all God has done within us. I do not doubt that he will continue to work out issues within us personally and as a couple.

My fears come from whether we will take what God has done and go forth with it. Or will we stay so stuck on the past that we will forget that "our future is before us and not behind us." (Thank you Beth for sharing that with me/us in Jacksonville!!)

These past months have been huge, life changing months. I am in awe of the answered prayers and the revelations God has shown me. I feel like now I am being called to act on them and well, what if I can't. I realize *I* can't. What I think I mean is what if I don't. Then I think what I mean is, what if the hubby doesn't. I find it ironic that my biggest fear is worrying about him when that is the one thing that I think I have learned more than any other. I can't fix him or make him do anything. I can only, through Christ, fix me and then trust that He is working it out with the hubby.

I feel like we are coming back together as new and changed people, but I suppose my worry really lies in what if we don't see that in each other.

I hate the "what if's" game. It robs me of the joy I should be experiencing.

Love,
Cara

Life Lessons

We are trying to bring our school year to an end and today was just a battle. Work that should have taken minutes took hours. It was as if on this morning everything MissThang has ever learned just fell out of her head and we had to start at the beginning.

Because I put MissThang and Little Man to bed at the same time, she often gets to watch a movie since she is older. Tonight that was NOT going to happen and she knew it.

Yesterday I had picked up a small chocolate cake but she also lost the chance for a special dessert tonight.

After dinner tonight, I sent her to my room for her shower and just hoped that she was done testing her boundaries. While she showered, I changed Little Man, gave him his milk and we read a book before carrying him up to bed. Once I got him tucked in, I walked into my room to make sure she was done with her shower. What I saw instead was that she was in fact DONE testing her boundaries, for the day.

She had made my bed.

She cleared off all the books and papers that have become my sleeping companions. She lined the pillows up just so.

She came in and told me the sweetest words... "Mom, I know my actions today made me not deserve a movie or a special treat, but for putting up with my actions today you deserve to have your bed made."

In that moment I had a decision to make. Do I take her down and chat with her over cake and milk or do I tell her Thank you and that I am sorry she made poor choices today. I thought about all the laundry currently needing folding and put away. I thought about all the toys needing to be picked up. I wondered if she would feel led to do those things if she knew they would get her consequences changed.

She went to bed with no cake and no movie but after some time talking to me she sleeps knowing tomorrow is another day.

Love,
Cara

And the winner is .....

It has been a long, rather uneventful season of American Idol....until tonight! The Finale was fantastic. I actually really liked George Micheal at the end.

The highlight of course was who won!

David Archelletta was expected to win, everyone knew he would win. Everyone was WRONG. For once the people of America got it right and David Cook is the newest American Idol. Both of the finalists deserved to be there and they both deserved to win, but David Archelletta could only sing the slow songs....sometimes we want to get up and dance and he couldn't deliver that.

Love,

Cara