I am

mad.angry.hurt.lonely.useless.wanting to scream. wanting to hit something. wanting to rebel and overly comply all the same time. wanting to hurt you as much as you hurt me. ready to give up. feeling as crazy as you make me feel but know I am not. ready to explode. searching for comfort. frustrated. aggravated. tired. exhausted. worn down. on a path I never saw myself. on a path I don't want to be on anymore. wanting calmness. wanting love. wanting happiness. wanting a sense of peace. tired of never knowing who you will be that day. tired of making excuses for you and for "us". holding on to something so broken. cut. in need. unable to turn my mind off. wanting to sleep. on an endless cycle. endlessly hopeful. endlessly doubtful. a stranger to myself. certainly uncertain. wanting to be numb.