Bittersweet

When I found out I was pregnant with baby #3, I began praying. I prayed for a healthy pregnancy. I prayed for a healthy baby. I prayed for us to find a bigger house. I prayed for a safe delivery. I prayed for a baby with a laid back personality because I also had a 3 year old boy!  I prayed she would nurse and nurse well.

 My pregnancy was completely fine and almost boring. I was blessed with a perfectly healthy 7lb baby girl. We moved into our new house the week before she was born. The delivery wasn't the one I dreamed of but it was a delivery that was safe for both of us. Little girl was so easy going PRAISE GOD! I have never seen a baby smile as much as she does. Even when crying, sick with a cold and teething she still smiles. And she latched on and never let go!! HA!

 With Miss Thang I did not have the support AND I was young AND I didn't so much give up but stopped because I just didn't know what to do. With Little Man he had issues and I was a mess. It was a long first year that included no sleep and little nursing. Then I had Abby. I have been surrounded by Momma's who are encouraging, supportive, and a wealth of knowledge. I am older and the hubby is older and more supportive. I was realistic this time. My short term goal was to just make it through the next feeding. My short term/long term goal was 6 months. My really long term goal was anything past that and hopefully to a year. Just whenever she was ready to stop.

 Around Christmas time her Dr became worried that she was not gaining much weight. She was nursing great, hitting her milestones but just not gaining. I took some time to decide what to do and I finally started adding one bottle a day and also more foods. She was still nursing A LOT so it was fine. Then I added a second bottle and the more food. She still nursed A LOT. She started gaining weight and filling out.

 Then a few weeks ago she started crawling and walking along furniture. She became mobile and was less and less interested in the time consuming activity of nursing. She is always moving and frankly my boobs don't stretch THAT far! So the past few weeks she started nursing first thing in the morning, around nap time and before bed time. Slowly the morning nursing stopped because the hubby was getting up with her a few mornings. Over the past week the daytime nursing has stopped. Then yesterday and today she did not want to nurse before bed.

 So we made it to 10 months and 14 days. I am thankful to God that he allowed me the chance to experience nursing without difficulties. That I was blessed with a baby girl who loves to cuddle up. I feel okay with her being done though. I feel like it was on our time. Despite feeling okay my poor family has had to put up with a hormonal mess of a mom and wife the past couple weeks. Bless them!

 Having had three kids with two not nursing for long and one that did, I have to say I offiicially do not believe that nursing makes you more bonded to your child. I think that there are so many other factors that to say it is bottle vs breastfeeding is too simplistic. I have a different bond but I don't feel any more or any less bonded to any of my kids.

 I can't believe it is nearly time to plan this little girls first birthday!